"We must get rid of the life weve planned, as to find the life that's waiting for us"
It's been 2 months since I've been married! Amazing.... I've been learning a lot about true life, and also about myself as a woman, a mom, a wife....
Jackson will be 7 in Feb. (INSANE, I know this) and it just hit me, it's been almost 7 years as a single parent and I've never really had a 'groove.' It's always been a fly by the moment thing. With school and growing up, how can you really find a groove? I was a young adult with a baby. I did everything in my immature mind and power that I could to make a great life for my little man and I. But... how far can you go with NO experience and NO idea how to even start to 'make' a life? Hell, I couldnt even cook a dinner by myself and I hated cleaning, how could I make a groove? It was a struggle. A beautiful struggle at that. I have too much advice and wisdom on things I wish I didnt, but still feels good that I made it to my perfect life I knew I would someday have.
I now have this perfect family. It blows my mind actually. I still trip on the idea that I married such an amazing, genuine, warm hearted man that loves my son as his own. I knew in the back of my mind that God would lead me to someone like Shaun, but was pleasently suprised at what a great job he did! lol. It kinda felt like God saying, "You have fought your way through life for long enough, here...." and just gave me this perfect man. With no crazy strings attached. It just 'was.'
So this turned into that and love turned into marriage. And perfect turned into perfection, if that makes sense. It doesnt have to. But groove is the heading. I feel like we have our groove. And its so sweet. Sure, every night may be a bit different, but we have plans....and backup plans, and times and dates. We have a warm cozy home. We sit down for dinner, do homework, and snuggle. One of us may head to a game of Jackson's while the other makes sure dinner is ready when we get home, so we arent up all night. We plan ahead, and not for the moment. Prepared. When one of us falls, then they have 2 people to help them up. We each live for each other, and that just may be the receipe for a perfect life. And when I say 'perfect' (b/c I think I have a few times now...) I mean the ups, the downs, and the complete sideways cant throw you THAT far off course. You see what you have, and you live and breathe for it. Complete meltdowns are OK, because you know you have arms to cry in. Arms that won't judge you, hurt you, or make you feel less than.
Jackson will be 7 in Feb. (INSANE, I know this) and it just hit me, it's been almost 7 years as a single parent and I've never really had a 'groove.' It's always been a fly by the moment thing. With school and growing up, how can you really find a groove? I was a young adult with a baby. I did everything in my immature mind and power that I could to make a great life for my little man and I. But... how far can you go with NO experience and NO idea how to even start to 'make' a life? Hell, I couldnt even cook a dinner by myself and I hated cleaning, how could I make a groove? It was a struggle. A beautiful struggle at that. I have too much advice and wisdom on things I wish I didnt, but still feels good that I made it to my perfect life I knew I would someday have.
I now have this perfect family. It blows my mind actually. I still trip on the idea that I married such an amazing, genuine, warm hearted man that loves my son as his own. I knew in the back of my mind that God would lead me to someone like Shaun, but was pleasently suprised at what a great job he did! lol. It kinda felt like God saying, "You have fought your way through life for long enough, here...." and just gave me this perfect man. With no crazy strings attached. It just 'was.'
So this turned into that and love turned into marriage. And perfect turned into perfection, if that makes sense. It doesnt have to. But groove is the heading. I feel like we have our groove. And its so sweet. Sure, every night may be a bit different, but we have plans....and backup plans, and times and dates. We have a warm cozy home. We sit down for dinner, do homework, and snuggle. One of us may head to a game of Jackson's while the other makes sure dinner is ready when we get home, so we arent up all night. We plan ahead, and not for the moment. Prepared. When one of us falls, then they have 2 people to help them up. We each live for each other, and that just may be the receipe for a perfect life. And when I say 'perfect' (b/c I think I have a few times now...) I mean the ups, the downs, and the complete sideways cant throw you THAT far off course. You see what you have, and you live and breathe for it. Complete meltdowns are OK, because you know you have arms to cry in. Arms that won't judge you, hurt you, or make you feel less than.
